“The Palazzo Massimi” was one of the by-products of the architect’s
“grand tour.” The flowing curved lines of this little Roman palace created a
problem for which the stonecutter probably did not thank the designer. But Bob
shifts the blame on the rowdy guests, with architectural erudition and a
richness of historical allusion spiced with Renaissance scandal. This song, the
deftest bit of verse-making of them all, is calculated to make any architect
listener squirm with delight.
Charles M. Stotz 1949
Listen to a Schmertz clip
Pietro Massimi, he built a palazzo with cornices very ornate.
He decked it with pilasters, caps and rosettos
And egg-and-dart spheroids oblate.
And when it was finished, he threw out his chest
And shouted aloud to all Rome,
“I hereby defy any Medici guy to show me a classier home!”
Pietro Massimi, he filled his palazzo
With tapestries mellow and rare,
And many a chest with his family crest
And many a rich-carven chair.
And when it was ready he said to his wife,
“Send out the R.S.V.P.’s
Invite only those who have evening clothes
And well-rooted family trees!”
Pietro’s housewarming was quite a success
And Rome became all of a twitter.
The Pitti, the Pazzi, Ricardi and Strozzi
Attended by coach and litter.
The Medici, E’Este and Borgia came
And so did the proud Pandolfini,
And the swell Davanzati (a trifle high-hatty!)
And, of course, Benvenuto Cellini!
Leonardo and Raphael came in their smocks
To tryout their genius at drinking
Not to mention Bramante who came with his auntie
And heartily joined in the swinking!
The party was lively, the party was gay,
It wasn’t the least bit depressing;
Palladio’s nose turned from red to old rose
And the Pope gave pontifical blessing!
Pietro’s palazzo was filled to the roof
And his guests seemed quite peaceful and loving
’Til one of the Strozzi pushed one of the Pazzi
Who said, “Who you t’ink you are shoving?”
“G’wan,” said the Strozzi, “I poosh in your face!”
And the Medici shouted, “Izzatso?”
“Push ’em up!” yelled the D’Este (who felt rather chesty)
And they pushed out Pietro’s palazzo!
And so, my dear friends, in the city of Rome
On the Via de San Panteleo
A curving facade which the critics applaud
May indeed still be seen to this day-oh.
The palazzo Massimi with curving facade,
But it wasn’t Peruzzi’s intent;
For you know and I know and so did Pietro
Just when, where and how it was bent!
