Firenza’s a beautiful city
It has the Ufizzi and Pitti
With miles of old Masters
And minor disasters
But hardly a one of them’s witty.

With Sebastian I’m now well-acquainted
A guy who was shot at and sainted
He had quite a harrow-
ing death by an arrow
At least that’s the way he was painted.

I admit I admire Botticelli
Who painted a lovely nude Nellie
She really looks swell
As she surfs on a shell
Displaying a beautiful belly.

No sins of omission from Titian
He has all his bosoms a-swishin’
But some without lust
Unperplexed by a bust
Are below at the Arno a-fishin’

I was feeling a bit pizzicato
But the door had a sign occupato
Though I had quite a brief
Inatra-cento relief
As I looked at a painting by Giotto.

I examined each famous Madonna
Surrounded by Flora and Fauna
Each with a Bambino
Molta Bell’ Sucharino
But to see any more I dowanna.

The beauty limned by Cimebue
Brings tears to my eyes, makes them dewy -
But a sharp second glance
Doesn’t seem to enhance
When I find his perspective is screwy.

A Catholic Lady from Florence
Wept bitter lacrima in torrents
For she woke in her bed
With a communist red
Who slightly resembled Saint Lawrence.

With a strong inclination to roister
A monk thought the world was his oyster
He got quite a shine drinking Sacristy wine
And boisterously belched in the cloister.

Verochios “Boy with a Fish”
Fulfills every whimsical wish
For sweetness and joy -
What a lovely small boy!
As he stands on one foot in a dish.