The Doric Column is coming back
From Ho-ho-hokus to Hakensack
You’ll see lots more of them from now on
The steel pipe column is now de trop
No plinth, no entasis and no chapeau
Looks as though the darn thing’s really gone
People thought Lally columns
Really were here to stay.
But disciples of Phidias thought they were hideous
So they’ve had their day -
The Doric Column is coming back
Column makers are making jack
And if you’d join the real elite bonton
Just get yourself a front porch parthenon.

Back in the Age of Pericles
The real smart folks were Greeks
They know about beauty, their columns were flutey!
And they all had snooty Greek Beaks
They had a style called Peristyle
With a pediment over a frieze
Crowned with a superior Akerateria
Sloping at thirty degrees
They left a legacy, for you and me -

The Doric Column is coming back
Computations by univac
Indicate a real phenomenon
Motel keepers think they look swell
You can see them on each motel
Heaven knows how many have been drawn
I wonder if old Ictinus
Knew what he went and done
We’ve extended his thesis from Peliponesus
To Highway Number One -
The Doric Column is coming back
And if you’d wash up and have a snack
No use for you to think of driving on
Just pull up at a Parkway Parthenon.

We had a Greek Revival way back in 1810
With atomic survival’s predicted arrival
We’ll have a revival again
Latest dispatches from Delphi
Newly arrived today
And the ancient historic Olympian Oracle
Said it’s on it’s on its way -
When the Delphic Oracle speaks
You’d better watch out for the Greeks -

Cause the Doric Column is coming back
You will see them on every shack
They’re part of every builder’s lexicon
Folks are ready to shoot their wad
On a miniature Greek Facade
And perhaps a front lawn iron faun
Picture a picture window stuck in a Parthenon
With Pete Padopolis on his Acropolis
Mowing his velvet lawn -
I had a dream where Myron spoke
I listened carefully and then awoke
And then I saw sweet Rosy-Fingered Dawn
Touch lovingly the Poor Man’s Parthenon!