Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye -
Love walked out and slammed our creakin’ door -
Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye -
We are hardly speakin’ any more!
She doesn’t care to pitter pat
Around our spare unlittered flat,
Hates our bare white painted walls
Wants a knick knack nook and lots of fol-di-rols!
My cutie pie says we must beautify -
Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye!

Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye -
Baby says that life is just a bore -
Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye
Baby’s tired of sittin’ on the floor;
She says chairs, I say mats,
She says mats are just for cats,
It is a risk on mats to frisk -
Watcha’ gonnado when I slip my disk!
Baby is moanin’ low and gettin’ high
Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye!

Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye -
Baby says she’s got to have decor -
Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye -
She went and bought a Watteau escritoire;
She bought wallpaper and she bought some chintz
A mohair sofa and some acquatints
Her new upholstery took yards and yards
Cause she grew out of all her leotards
Baby says we’ll have hi-fi bye and bye
Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye!

and she says:

No more beard or dungarees
No more yod’ling like the Tyrolese
She gave away my old guitar
My bongos, balaleika and my samovar!
Baby says I must wear a coat and tie,
Baby and I we don’t see eye to eye!